The Best Medicine

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When was the last time you laughed? I’m not talking about a snicker when you hear a funny joke. I mean when you laugh so hard that you can’t talk. When you laugh so hard you cry. When you laugh so hard you can’t even catch your breath, and maybe liquid flies out of your nose.

I remember the last two times, as they were recent.

A couple of weeks ago I met my tribe for dinner. There are 7 of us total, friends for 40+ years. Regular meetings are our religion and our therapy.

When we get together, we catch up on everything that’s happened since we last met. Weddings, babies, new jobs happening in our kids lives. Complaints about work and When can we retire? Everyone has a funny story to share, and often we will just add pieces to it (What if you had said this? Why didn’t you just do this?) until the laughter bug catches us and then we’re out of control with the laughter. Usually, I don’t even remember exactly what we were laughing about. I just remember the feeling of thoroughly enjoying the moment.

The second recent time of laughter was with some family members as we celebrated my mom’s 80th birthday on a sleepover adventure out of town. At the request of mom, we were having a game night and one game required you to give answers quickly. As the game wore on, our answers got sillier and sillier until eventually that uncontrollable laughter started. And once it starts, it is so hard to stop! Laughing is fun. Laughter just. . . well, it just feels good.

Research shows that laughter has many health benefits, both physical and mental. These include pain relief, better immunity, and more happiness. Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine, and dopamine, and increases the “good” hormone endorphins. It increases the number of antibody-producing cells working for us. It makes us feel better by distracting us from anger, stress and negative emotions and helps us view challenges in a less threatening way. Laughter releases stress in our bodies and causes us to relax. It even protects your heart by improving blood flow.

Perhaps best of all, laughter provides a feeling of connectedness to the people around us, promoting group bonding, enhancing teamwork, and strengthening relationships. And it doesn’t have to be the out-of-control laughter to reap these benefits. Simple laughter at a good joke or silly face will also get your blood pumping and change your outlook on the day. Wow, all of this, and its fun too!

Sadly, we appear to lose the ability to laugh as we get older. Studies suggest that as children, we laugh up to 400 times per day. As adults, only 15. It seems to make sense that we would want to try to cultivate this phenomenon to take advantage of the many benefits of laughter.

Getting together with loved ones is often a recipe for laughter success. Sharing stories from your past in a loving environment will bring up good memories and a chuckle. So as you’re gathered around the Thanksgiving table, ask each guest to share a funny memory from a prior holiday get together, or childhood, or family vacation.

You’ve probably heard that laughter is contagious. I’ll bet you can think of a friend with a genuine laugh that always makes you smile or laugh along. The contagious feature of laughter is why TV sitcoms use laugh tracks.

Here are some more ideas to get more laughter in your life:

  • Start with a smile
  • Watch a funny movie
  • Go to a comedy show
  • Host a party or game night
  • Try to laugh about minor problems instead of being frustrated
  • If you can’t laugh for real, pretend; the act of pretending will at least make you smile
  • Seek out laughter; at a social gathering or out in public; ask “what’s funny?”
  • Spend time with funny people
  • Ask a probing question: what’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you recently?
  • Tell and listen to jokes, and laugh even when you don’t find them funny
  • Incorporate “play” time: a toy on your desk, a funny poster or photo; skip, play pass, color
  • Keep a “laughter” bank of memories that you can think about when you need a pick-me-up

So get started today making new memories and improving your physical and mental health. And don’t forget to take your medicine!

Break out the Board Games This Holiday Season

Growing up, games were always a treasured part of my family gatherings and get togethers with friends. My immediate family of my brothers, mother and myself frequently enjoyed many board games including monopoly and chess. I have a fond memory of an afternoon spent with a retired board game called Stop Thief! and some Aerosmith playing on the turntable (yes, vinyl!). And we always looked forward to holiday gatherings when we would have a big crowd around the table ( 2 leafs inserted) to play cards, bingo, or whatever new game someone suggested we try. Add in some drinks and snacks, and perhaps some penny gambling, and it was a perfect afternoon. The Thanksgiving day would fly by as we talked, laughed, strategized, and gloated or pouted, depending on the outcome. This didn’t change as I got older. My close group of friends enjoyed nothing more than an evening at home with some chocolate chip cookies and a some 45, a local card game. Sometimes these games went into the early hours of the morning. Happy times.

I still cannot resist a good board game. If I see something that looks interesting or hear people talking about a game they’ve enjoyed, I immediately want to buy it and start playing. Thinking back to those holidays as a youngster, I realize that not everyone sat around that table playing games. I had a couple of uncles and cousins who did not join in. They were content to sit in the living room watching a Christmas special or some football. I always wondered how they could prefer that to a rousing game of pokeno! These days the players are slightly different but we still have a mixture of game lovers and non-lovers. While games are best when everyone joins in, we’ve learned to let people choose the entertainment that most makes them happy.

You will believe me when I tell you that I have a lot of board games. And many of them we don’t use any more. So I recently rummaged through the basement and decided to sell an assortment of board games on Facebook marketplace. If you’ve ever used Facebook Marketplace to sell something, you know it is very easy and convenient, but can also be a little frustrating. People will message you asking if your item is still available, and then you tell them it is, and they disappear, never to be heard from again. Or worse, they schedule a time to come and pick up the item, and then don’t show.

But it is convenient, and a good way to get a couple of bucks for those items you don’t use any more, and in all likelihood would either end up in a collection bin, or the trash. Most of the games I selected for sale were in near new condition. I put about 6 or 7 out there and offered them for $3 each. They probably go for about $20 each new. I then waited for the inevitable questions: Is this still available? Will you take $1? Are any pieces missing?

So I waited. And I waited. Crickets. Usually when a listing first goes on, it sees quite a bit of activity. You can watch the “views” and respond to any messages. Frequently I find that if it doesn’t sell in about a week, it likely never will. In most cases I have been able to sell most of my listings. In this instance, not a single inquiry.

So it got me wondering. Does anyone play board games anymore?

Turns out, the answer is yes. Pandemic and supply issues aside, board games over the past 10 years have had a modest increase and are expected to continue to increase in the coming years. Although new games continue to come out every year, the longstanding classics are still best sellers. You probably won’t be surprised to see any of these names on the top 10 best selling games of all time:

  1. Chess
  2. Checkers
  3. Backgammon
  4. Monopoly
  5. Scrabble
  6. Clue
  7. Trivial Pursuit
  8. Battleship
  9. Candyland
  10. The Game of Life

In 2020 topping the list was a mixture of classic, and new:

  1. Connect Four
  2. Monopoly
  3. Codenames
  4. Spontuneous

These days, I try to be very selective about which games I buy, as we don’t play as often and so new additions must be compelling! Simple is best, with few instructions and pieces. If we have any hope of roping in the usual non-players, we don’t want to lose them with complicated rules. And since we have youngsters who like to play, we don’t usually opt for games with more mature subject matter. Recently we’ve tried Exploding Kittens and Left, Center, Right, two card games with minimal equipment (just cards, and dice), and easy to follow instructions. With larger crowds, trivia games and apples to apples are family favorites.

The benefits of gathering around a table with a board game are numerous. Most importantly, it’s fun, and usually is accompanied by laughter and feelings of happiness. In addition, you are spending quality time interacting with loved ones and stimulating those relationships. Often, a new player enters the fold as our kids bring home a new friend. Playing a board game together is a great way to get to know them better. Often during game playing you will learn something new, and your brain gets lots of exercise while you plot and strategize. You will even practice your patience as you wait for your turn, or for the perfect time to spring your attack!

As we enter the holiday season, I am looking forward to this crucial element of our celebrations and I will be strategizing about which games to place on the table, taking into account my house guests: ages, level of game adoration, likelihood of laughter. Whichever game and player combinations emerge, the game portion of our holiday get togethers is certain to add more smiles to my memory bank. So if you haven’t played a board game in a while, dust off those cardboard boxes and reintroduce this great family pasttime to your holiday parties. I suspect you won’t be disappointed!

40 New Things to Try Today

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These days, I have to stop and think about my age. Usually I’m shocked when I remember the actual number. Hint: I didn’t have a cell phone until I was in my thirties. As I think about getting older, my mind starts to wander to limitations and missed opportunities. At this point in my life I have to acknowledge that there are some things I will never do. Maybe I don’t have the time, or the money, or I’m not physically capable. It could be that in addition to getting older I have also gotten more fearful. Whatever the reason, I will never play tennis professionally, take several months to travel around the world, or sing in front of a large audience. Okay, that last one has nothing to do with age.

But there are many things I can still do. And even many things that I haven’t tried before. The same is true for you, regardless of your age. Studies show that trying new things is an important step in warding off alzheimers and other brain diseases, by helping to keep your brain sharp. Cognitive ability, physical activity, and social engagement have positive effects on memory and thinking ability as we age. In addition, people who engage in a variety of experiences retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones. Mini adventures can also lead to other non physical benefits like improved self esteem and confidence, making new friends, and even stumbling across an undiscovered talent or passion.

While we can, and should, continue to plan for the big items on our bucket list, we can start today with the small stuff. The following ideas can be tried with little advance planning, minimal time, money, or physical training. Most combine at least 2 of the characteristics that will benefit you most: Cognitive, Physical, and Social interactions. I have grouped them into 4 different categories: Learn something new, Get Social, Get Out and Explore, Put Yourself Out There.

Learn Something New

The idea here is to reach a little. Try something you’ve never tried, or only minimally tried. If you’re typically into athletic activities, try cooking or photography. Many local colleges offer unique classes. Check their catalogs. At Bunker Hill Community College in Massachusetts, you can take a 3 hour, noncredit course in Craft Cocktails and Mixology for $119. And frequently you don’t need to find anything this formal. For almost anything you want to try, there’s an online video that can show you how. Many of these items make for a great fun activity with other people, so grab a friend and broaden your horizons! Here are some other ideas:

–Bake a cake from scratch

–Tackle a home improvement project

–Take a scuba diving lesson

–Learn to play chess

–Learn a magic trick

–Take a CPR class

–Try a new sport

–Get a pet you’ve never had before

–Research your family tree

Get Social

Many options here to get together. It’s great to do things with your best buddies, but don’t be afraid to try something that will force you to meet new people.

–Join a team or club: Book club, poker night, sports team, trivia night; if you can’t locate your ideal group, start one yourself (www.wikihow.com/start-a-successful-club)

–Volunteer for something you’re passionate about

–Host an event: Dinner party, theme party, game night, scavenger hunt, larping; check out mymysteryparty.com; better yet, invite someone new to the mix

–Take a class in something you’ve always found interesting

–Meetup.com: organizes adult gatherings for like minded individuals

–Plan a day trip and invite your favorite travel companions

–Play like a kid: lasertag, paintball, hopscotch, hide and seek, roller skating, flying a kite, have a water balloon fight; challenge your kids to a contest in jumproping, hula hoops, cartwheels

Get Out and Explore

Exploring is all about getting outside and discovering new things. You don’t have to go far. There are interesting buildings, trails, boutique shops, cafes, country stores, etc, in every town in America. Start with onlyinyourstate.com.

–Go for a hike

–Try ziplining

–Find a great spot and watch the sunrise

–Attend a fair/farmers market/festival

–Go for a picnic

–Take the train/bus/ferry

–Attend an auction

–Try geocaching

–Go fishing

–Do some gardening

–Golf (full-on, mini-golf, driving range)

–Bird watching

–Paddle boarding

–Camping

–Look for covered bridges, waterfalls

–Explore a new culture: try their food, church, music, holidays, museums or historic sites

Put Yourself Out There

This is all about getting out of your comfort zone. Sure, you might feel awkward, silly, maybe even embarrassed. But it could also be a blast, and you’ll be so proud of yourself just for trying!

–Make a You Tube/Tik Tok Video

–Audition for a game show (go to a show’s website or check castingcallhub.com/tryout/game-show/

–Switch up your regular routine: If you’re a rock n roll girl, check out some live country music and line dancing; Go to the theatre to experience an unlikely movie selection; get a new hairdo, outfit, tattoo, piercing

–Try something that scares you: Roller coasters, ghost tours, public speaking

–Do something kind for a stranger

–Identify someone you’re grateful for and then tell them why you’re so happy to have them in your life

–Surprise someone who might need some lifting up: balloons, baked goods, or just a surprise visit

–Share a new interest or talent with your friends: made your first quilt? wrote a poem? Show it off with pride.

I hope this list has inspired you to try something new! You probably thought of some or your own ideas while reading mine. I’d love to hear about them. Share your ideas, and your experiences with me!