If the Question Starts with “Do You Remember. . .?” The answer is no

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Growing up, I had such a good memory. It’s why I did well on tests and spelling bees. I could remember your name, and the details of our last conversation. I remembered details about concerts I attended, geography facts, addresses, and phone numbers.

These days, not so much. In my other life as a banker, I work with customers every day. I might open an account for you on Monday, and if you come back in on Friday, you look familiar, but I don’t remember why. If you come in two weeks after we opened your account, you don’t even look familiar. Often a customer will pop their head into my office and ask, “Hi, remember me?” Uh, no. No, I don’t.

In talking with my similarly-aged friends, it’s not unusual. We have all had moments of thinking something is seriously wrong: Early onset Alzheimers or dementia. But when we get together and compare notes, we realize we are all going through the same thing.

But it’s still frustrating. It makes it harder to do my job when I have to look for information that I know is already in my brain somewhere. It’s embarrassing to forget something important, or worse, something you recently discussed. It’s maddening to watch Jeopardy and not be able to answer a question about a book you recently read.

There is a scientific explanation behind it. Many medical conditions can affect your memory including sleep deprivation, heart disease or dehydration. Side effects of medication can also be a cause. But for most of us, it’s just age. Deteriorating memory can actually begin as early as our twenties, and accelerates in our fifties. The main cause is the loss of brain cells. This affects both the ability to create new memories, and the ability to retrieve older ones.

So what’s an aging mom to do? Strong genes, a healthy diet, reduced stress levels, moderate exercise and limiting alcohol can all have a positive impact. Experts believe mental stimulation can also slow down the degeneration. This includes puzzles: Crosswords, jigsaws, sudoku or concentration. Other games, like chess, and cards, can also help memory by requiring you to remember possible moves from turn to turn.

There are some over the counter supplements that claim to support preventing memory loss. Prevagen is one such product. These capsules contain vitamin D3 and apoaequorin, a protein found in jellyfish. Evidence showing how effective Prevagen is, and how well our bodies absorb the ingredients, are limited. Vitamin D is a nutrient our bodies make when exposed to sunlight. While there was a study in 2017 showing a possible link to severe vitamin D deficiency and visual memory loss, further research is needed. The only thing that’s certain is that Vitamin D is essential to help our bodies properly absorb and use calcium, which is necessary for healthy bones. Studies of apoaequorin show that it acts similar to calmodulin, which is thought to play an important role in memory, although research is limited. Prevagen is not FDA approved to treat memory loss.

Other supplements, like fish oil and B6 or B12, have also been studied in regards to their potential benefits on preventing, or stopping, memory loss. No concrete benefits have been established.

Putting aside good habits, mental practices, and possible medications, we are left with simply finding ways to cope. Fortunately, I have always been an organizer of information. I’m the one who religiously read magazines and clipped interesting articles on a wide variety of topics: recipes, travel, fitness. I then filed them–yes, in a physical filing cabinet–away for future reference. I’m sure I only referred back to them on rare occasions, but when I needed to, I was glad to have them. These days its even easier to save information. A quick picture with your phone, or a screenshot, and then a “move” to a folder specifically created for that topic, takes only seconds. I sometimes even jot down some notes of information I know I might need to refer back to, and then take a picture and file it into a “reference” folder. And saved pictures are easy to retrieve. I use a similar system for information received via email and I do still have the old metal filing cabinet for original documents that I need to keep.

At work I have online folders, cheat sheets, and my ever present to-do list that is always being updated. As I think of things that need to be addressed, I immediately make a note for myself, knowing that the thought could disappear in a moment. I refer to my list several times throughout the day to make sure I don’t leave for the day with something important neglected.

I still forget things. Although I bring my list, I sometimes return from the grocery store missing the one item that caused me to go there in the first place. I sometimes am driving in my car, and forget, momentarily, where I am supposed to be going. And I know it will only get worse. So I’ll do my best to take care of myself. Keep my brain active with new activities, puzzles, reading and writing. And leave a copy of this blog where I can find it later, if I need it.

A List for the lists

I love lists. Yes, I know, many of you probably use lists on a daily basis: Groceries, errands, work projects are common. My list obsession may go a bit further. My list app currently holds 47 different lists with a whopping 1033 individual items. And growing. Happily, they do not all have a due date of today. I started innocently enough with a typical to-do list. Then I quickly needed to make an adjustment based on what needed to be done today (return my library books), versus things that just needed to get done eventually (spring cleaning). Then I wanted to create a list for weekend chores, and needed a separate list for that. Of course I needed a “shopping” list for groceries and a “Target” list for my favorite retailer. Free delivery over $35! The rest is history.

Many of my lists are just informational, for someday future use. As in, it will be there when I need it. These include hiking destinations–subcategorized by region–potential day trip destinations, and recipes I’ve come across and would like to try. I also keep track of gift ideas (not to be confused with “Christmas gift ideas”). And how many times recently, when you’ve been homebound, have you sat in front of the tv, and struggled with what to watch next? There’s a “netflix series” list for that!

Several lists revolve around my kids. I have a list of their friends, with phone numbers, and a list for topics I want to talk to them about when we have a few minutes together, as well as a list of things I want to discuss with their doctor at their next checkup.

Self improvement and entertainment are always important. So there’s a list of books I’d like to read, restaurants I’d like to try, and exercises ideas for when I want to mix up my workout routine.

You will not be surprised to hear that I am adding to these lists frequently throughout the day. As I get older and my memory sometimes fails me, I know it’s best to add an item immediately when I think of it. Besides random ideas that pop into my head, there are numerous opportunities throughout the day for great ideas. Coworkers, friends, and social media offer a continuous stream of brilliant suggestions and reminders. Current circumstances also often dictate the need for a new list (where should we go for our summer vacation?).

You serious list makers out there will agree that the best thing about making lists is checking things off! This is typically even more satisfying than adding something new. Checking something off your list is proof to yourself that you are being productive. Even better, you may explore a new activity, recipe, or destination from your list that ends up being enjoyable and/or fulfilling. You might conquer a challenge, meet some new friends, or just be awed by something beautiful. In short, lists can help you to live your best life. For me, it’s safe to say that I would be lost without my lists.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to check something off of my “Blog ideas” list.